Tuesday, September 16, 2014

WOD?:

dance, thinking of a 10 by 10

DAY?:

better, semi productive and oh my shit i have so much to do, oh fuck.

EMO?:

frustrated, despondent, despairing.  can't do this job, never could.

CORPUS?:

sugars high, then low, and now high again and i really don't care.

DID?:

danced.  good dance.  getting better at letting things be and just watching for the cues to follow.

AFTER?:

pretty good. too full.  glad i felt weird about sharing in the cake.  one of the kickers was celebrating a birthday and i didn't feel like i could take a slice if i couldn't put the name to the face without signs and a tiara.

Monday, September 15, 2014

WOD?:

mixed weights, 12 kg and 8 kg.

DAY?:

inching towards productive, but so many things are on fire and eating up time that i cannot get caught up, never mind ahead.

EMO?:

sick at heart.  sugars are through the fucking roof, depressed and disgusted with everything.  games no longer cutting it -- nothing is satisfying any more.,

CORPUS?:

tired, so tired. the crash from this one is going to suck.

DID?:

thought about skipping the workout entirely, missed the high of doing it, so forced myself through a 10 x 10 with the 12 kg.  ball of suck.

AFTER?:

glad i did it, had the lovely endorphin high -- and went to bed right after dinner.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

WOD?:

Dancing this evening.  may try for some weight work this afternoon.

DAY?:

reasonably good.  feeling like i got a lot accomplished, which i did.  almost made it through my list of wannado, which is always bigger that i can actually do in three days. 

EMO?:

fairly happy.  some contented, even.

CORPUS?:

not too bad, considering saturday's spill.  shoulder a little sore, bruises sore to the touch, but otherwise not too shabby.

DID?:

did the 10 by 10 with the 12 kg, and that went fair swimmingly.  went dancing at naber's, where they were holding a wedding reception (at a BAR? roll with it . . .) at least Jaime was there spinning discs, and the dance floor opened up right when we got there, so no waiting for the game to finally end

AFTER?:

had forgotten how good it felt to swing.  swung and had more energy, swung and was ready to go dancing.  nice!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

WOD?:

Rest day.  finally, a WOD i can actually do.  this week has been a ball of suck, monday's rain really threw me for a shivering loop.  all sorts of wrongness.  wrongness upon wrongness, blocked, frustrated, stuck.

DAY?:

not bad, half-productive.  sock finally falling into place, yay.  cast on owl sweater, yay.  haven't touched the bag yet, boo, but that's not the end of the world.  dada halfway there, just need to actually finish it.

EMO?:

so much that needs finishing.  itchy with need to finish, just need to get my ass in the chair and do it.  so much like the rest of this damn week, everything eaten up fighting the resistance instead of just doing the whatever it is.  thinking of tricks and ideas for next week -- the fifteen minute timer, change that to fifteen minutes of filing when i feel incompetent.

i will either have a spanking clean office or get shit done.  win win.

CORPUS?:

moon time.  that about says it all; all i want to do is lie down with a lick of blanket across my middle to keep it warm and quiet while the body does its animal thing.

DID?:

picked up gareth's truck, refilled growler. had dinner.

AFTER?:

went to bed.  am missing the high that comes with the workout, frankly.  need to hold that to the fore when i get the don't wannas, hold the feelings of completion and doneness forward, remember the frustration that comes with fighting the resistance rather than saying "you're right, let's just touch the door."  remember those days?  let's just touch the door, and at least you got a walk in.

Friday, September 12, 2014

WOD?:

mixed weights (8kg/12kg)

DAY?:

spent the whole damn day on the road.  well, okay, that's just what it feels like.  my guardian angel has a sick sense of humor.  i went through a hell of a fucked up morning to have everything turn out absolutely perfect, with my feet just where they needed to be at exactly the time they needed to be there . . . but the way we got there was through some rube goldberg contortions.

EMO?:

right before the moon time, as previously mentioned, so the short fuse is even shorter.  i have zero tolerance for frustration at the best of times; this is not the best.

CORPUS?:

still bloaty and ickful.  mega carb loading via brunch, going to have beer and salad for dinner.  so fat, skinny carbs, and alcohol (which is practically its own macronutrient).

DID?:

nothing.  not even knitting, just sat and read a book.

AFTER?:

feeling worthless, behind, and crampy.  saturday is a rest day.  sunday I may swing light and go sancing.  maybe the rest of that cycle i swing light (better that than nothing) and the movement may help get the damn cycle over with again so i can keep trying to get up the freaking ladder.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

WOD?:

heavy weight, light work -- 10 10 x 10's with the 12 kg

DAY?:

this has been the worst week ever in terms of being able to motivate myself into getting shit done.  i have no willpower; it's all used up somewhere.  not at work, i get even less done there than with the workouts.

EMO?:

miserable. sad. frustrated.

CORPUS?:

pre-period bloated, though some of that is subsiding, thank goodness.  crampy, though, in the light poky way that heralds the approach of the moon time.  tmi?  you don't have to be here.

DID?:

dropped my car off at the garage and went to the pig and pickle for dinner.  lots of veggies -- salad, brussels sprouts, smoked salmon, bacon, tater tots, liver schmear and a beer.costs slightly more than dinner at the outback, and so. MUCH. better.  outback has left me feeling vaguely screwed the last few time i've eaten there.  i keep hoping for a return to its good days, but those aren't going to happen.  making a virtue out of watery broth by touting the low calorie content of your soup is not the way to go.

AFTER?:

full.  maybe uncomfortably so, a little, though that probably owes something to the damn lunch at work, too.  tomorrow is another day and a day off, so it will be interesting to see if its easire to pull my shit together and hammer on it or no.  

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

WOD?:

Mixed heavy weights (8kg/12kg)

DAY?:

really not so good.  nothing of importance done, just staring at the walls.

EMO?:

depressed.  frustrated, stuck.

CORPUS?:

tired and bloated and draggy

DID?:

nothing.  at least recognized that i was slacking off and should be doing the workout, just could not find motivation to pick up the weight and swing it.

so watched DVD and crocheted.  at least i will have some classes to hand these in to.

AFTER?:

still feel crappy and unproductive.  don't know if the jam after the workout and shower and treat would have helped, and i guess i won't know unless i try.

speaking of trying, going to try setting up a post in advance so i can just fill it in after.  posting the next day sucks because i am not in the moment, i am reconstructing.  if i have it set up, then i can just log back in and fill out the form.